"If you loved me ..."
Perception of rejection hurts--whether or not the rejection is real!
When it is unreal, we have to let go of our expectations of the one whose love we seek, whether it is God or a brother or sister in the Lord.
Our lament takes this form: "If you loved me, then you would have [or would not have done] thus and so."
- "If God loved me, He would ..."
- "If you loved me, you would feel as I do about this."
- "If he loved me, he would ..."
- "If she loved me, she would ..."
- "If they loved me, they would ..."
We reason from our expectations of how a loving person would behave to the conclusion that we are not loved.
We don't have to do this to ourselves.
We can drop the expectations.
We can drop the rock.
We can let go of the thorn in our side.
We can accept the love of our beloved as it is rather than as we wish it would be.