Twelve Step Programs

The Twelve Steps were written in the 1930s by Bill Wilson for the first edition of Alcoholics Anonymous, affectionately known as "The Big Book" to those who are active in AA. The steps have been cloned hundreds of times for other twelve-step groups, most notably Al-Anon, simply by changing one word in the first step.

The spirituality of the Twelve Steps is completely consistent with the Christian tradition, but it is designed to be used by anyone with any concept of a "higher power that could restore us to sanity" (second step). The steps are a most remarkable achievement in ecumenical synthesis and are well worth consideration by anyone who struggles with chronic difficulties in their own lives or among their family and friends.

AA's Twelve Suggested Steps for Recovery

Step	Related passages
1. We admitted we were powerless over [alcohol], that our lives had become unmanageable.	"I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong" (2 Cor 12:).
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.	"Those who are well do not need a physician, but the sick do. I did not come to call the righteous but sinners" (Mk 2:17).
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.	This is a version of The Infallible Prayer.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Serenity Prayer

As prayed most often

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

The original prayer

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference,
living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardship as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.

Reinhold Niebuhr

With emphasis to aid memory

God, grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change,

courage to change the things I can,

and wisdom to know the difference,

living one day at a time;

enjoying one moment at a time;

accepting hardship as the pathway to peace;

taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is,

not as I would have it;

trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His will;

that I may be reasonably happy in this life,

and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.

Short form

[Blank] it!

Twenty Questions for Drinkers

Keep track of how many "yes" answers you have to these questions, which are attributed to Johns Hopkins University Hospital, Baltimore, MD:

Do you lose time from work due to drinking?
Is drinking making your home life unhappy?
Do you drink because you are shy with other people?
Is your drinking affecting your reputation?
Have you ever felt remorse after drinking?
Have you ever got into financial difficulties as a result of drinking?
Do you turn to lower companions and an inferior environment when drinking?
Does your drinking make you careless of your familyâ€™s welfare?
Has your ambition decreased since drinking?
Do you crave a drink at a definite time?
Do you want a drink the next morning?
Does drinking cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
Has your efficiency decreased since drinking?
Is drinking jeopardizing your job or business?
Do you drink to escape from worries or trouble?
Do you drink alone?
Have you ever had a complete loss of memory as a result of drinking?
Has your physician ever treated you for drinking?
Do you drink to build up your self-confidence?
Have you ever been to a hospital or institution because of drinking?

After you have done your level best to answer the questions, you may consult the Grade Scale for the Twenty Questions.

Recognition of and Recovery from Codependency

The sick behavior of sick people in our lives can cause us to become sick ourselves if we are too strongly attached to them.

Just as stopping addictive behavior is essential to recovery from the addiction, detachment is essential to recovery from codependency.

Step One: Admit powerlessness

The First Step in Co-Dependents Anonymous is "We admitted we were powerless over others--that our lives had become unmanageable." This is the essential spirituality of all of the "-Anon" programs: Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, Gam-Anon,, and many other companion programs designed for the family and friends of addicts. Another colloquial expression of this fundamental insight from Al-Anon is that "we are powerless over people, places, and things."

As Ernest Kurtz said so well in his book by the same name, we are "not God." The Three C's of Adult Children of Alcoholics follow from this spiritual principle: "We did not cause them, we cannot cure them, we cannot control them."

Step Two: Come to believe in a Higher Power

The Second Step tells us that there is "a power greater than ourselves that can restore us to sanity." We do not have to allow the insanity of others to drive us insane.

Step Three: Let go and let God

The Third Step, then, means that in our relationships with those who are sick, we must "Let go and let God."

GOD is the changer of hearts, not us.

Dealing with a wayward brother

"I feel that I have to somehow do something about it. After all, I am my brother's keeper, right?"

Let's distinguish between what you can and cannot do.

You can intercede for him and offer sacrifices for him.

You cannot command his assent to the faith.

No one can take a bath for another person.

No one can accept Jesus as personal Lord and Savior for another person.

On Judgment Day, God will ask each one of us, "What did YOU do with the gifts I gave YOU?" He will not ask what we did with the gifts he gave to other people.

You are responsible for your salvation.

Your brother is responsible for his salvation.

You are not his God or savior.

Let go and let God.
Say the Serenity Prayer.
Pray to St. Monica, mother of St. Augustine.
Pray in reparation for your own sins, then pray in reparation for the sins of your family.
Pray the Infallible Prayer: "Thy will, not mine, be done."
Recognize that "unsolicited advice is criticism." If we could nag people into good behavior, we wouldn't need a Savior.
Pray that God will place someone else in his life to convert him. Don't doubt God's power to save him. We are saved by the love of God poured into our hearts through the death and resurrection of Jesus. He died to save this person; He knows how to save him. Pray with St. Faustina, "Jesus, I trust in you."

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