Cor ad Cor -- Marriage Quest

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I want to start an anonymous prayer group for all Catholics who are seeking marriage. For the moment, I am calling it "Cor ad Cor," from John Henry Newman's slogan when he became a cardinal: "Cor ad cor loquitur," "heart speaks to heart."

The only requirements for membership are:

1) a desire to serve God through the vocation of marriage;
2) the willingness to pray each day for the preservation, maturation, and fulfillment of the vocations of all of the other members of the group.

Preliminary prayers

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference,
  - living one day at a time;
  - enjoying one moment at a time;
  - accepting hardship as the pathway to peace;
  - taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is,
      not as I would have it;
  - trusting that He will make all things right
      if I surrender to His will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
      and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.


Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love,
where there is injury, pardon,
where there is doubt, faith,
where there is despair, hope,
where there is darkness, light,
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.



"He who waters will himself be watered" (Prov 11:25)
Favorite prayer of Bl. Rupert Mayer, SJ

Lord, be it done unto me according to Your will.
May I walk as You will.
Let me know what you will!

Lord, accomplish what You will when You will,
today and always.

Lord, I wish to accept whatever you will
because what You will is always best for me.
Let me belong to you, then do with me as You will.

Lord, all that You will is right;
the fact that You will it gives me courage.

My heart rests safely in Your hands!

We are already espoused to the Bridegroom

Jesus is the Bridegroom, we are the Bride.

By our baptismal vows, we have a marriage covenant with GOD that will last for all eternity.

We are precious, special, chosen.

We enjoy spiritual intercourse with our Spouse.

God has forged an unbreakable bond between us. He will never divorce us.

There is no obstacle between our baptismal marriage covenant and the sacrament of marriage. Our spiritual communion with Jesus is no bar to marital union. The union of husband and wife is an image of the union between Jesus and His Body, the Church (Eph). Intimacy with one's spouse is a fruit of intimacy with God, not an obstacle or an alternative to divine communion.

The desire for marital union is natural and good

When God created male and female, He looked at them standing before Him, naked and unashamed, and he said of their whole human being, bodies-informed-by-souls, that they were "very good" (Gen 1:31). The vocation to marriage is fundamental to all other vocations in the church because the celibate forms of love of God cannot reproduce themselves without the vocations of mothers and fathers. We need new children of God, and they come from marital union.

Obstacles to sacramental union

The culture of lust undermines courtship before marriage and chastity in marriage.

Our culture promotes sexual activity but not life-long love.

Men are especially vulnerable to seduction by our culture.

There are more women seeking sacramental union than there are men.

The single life is lonely and full of anguish for those who wish to be innocent in their courtship and in their married life.

There is, naturally and rightly, a dynamic of competition in courtship. Romantic relationships that lead to marriage are necessarily exclusive, because marital union is exclusive. One person's gain is another's loss. It is very hard to rejoice in the happiness of a new couple if one had hoped to form a marriage bond with one of them.

We need the grace that was given to John the Baptist: "I must decrease; the beloved must increase."

An alliance with all other programs

Cor ad cor is a spiritual communion of saints. We want to pray earnestly for each other's good and to support each other in the fulfillment of our vocations. It is not a replacement for nor is it in competition with any other program designed to help Catholics socialize with each other. We pray for all who seek to be married and for all who have a compassionate desire to create environments in which unmarried Catholics can cultivate friendships.

"It is not good for the human being to be alone" (Gen 2:18).

"No dues or fees"

For the moment, Cor ad Cor is just a figment of my imagination. If no one is interested in it, it will die a natural death.

If you do feel that it is worthwhile to join this spiritual association, email me. I will enroll you in my daily prayers and in my monthly mass for vocations. You are a member of this group if you say you are. As often as you pray for the other members, you may be confident of their prayers for you, too.

Forging links

If you have advice for others or news about good groups or activities, let me know. I will do what I can to provide links to local, national, and international groups that support the vocation of marriage.

Patron saints

  • St. Joachim and St. Ann
  • St. John the Baptist
  • St. Bridget of Sweden
  • Santa Francesca Romana
  • Mother Cabrini
  • The Martins
  • ... other married saints