Codependency - Revision history

Mxmsj: Text replacement - "--" to " — "

2022-12-10T10:04:03Z

Text replacement - "--" to " — "

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	=== Step One: Admit powerlessness ===		=== Step One: Admit powerlessness ===

	The First Step in [http://www.coda.org/ Co-Dependents Anonymous] is '''"We admitted we were powerless over others--that our lives had become unmanageable."''' This is the essential spirituality of all of the "-Anon" programs: [http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ Al-Anon], [http://www.nar-anon.org/naranon/ Nar-Anon,] [http://www.gam-anon.org/ Gam-Anon,], and many other companion programs designed for the family and friends of addicts. Another colloquial expression of this fundamental insight from Al-Anon is that "we are powerless over people, places, and things."		The First Step in [http://www.coda.org/ Co-Dependents Anonymous] is '''"We admitted we were powerless over others — that our lives had become unmanageable."''' This is the essential spirituality of all of the "-Anon" programs: [http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ Al-Anon], [http://www.nar-anon.org/naranon/ Nar-Anon,] [http://www.gam-anon.org/ Gam-Anon,], and many other companion programs designed for the family and friends of addicts. Another colloquial expression of this fundamental insight from Al-Anon is that "we are powerless over people, places, and things."

	As Ernest Kurtz said so well in [http://www.amazon.com/Not-God-Alcoholics-Ernest-Kurtz/dp/0894860658 his book by the same name,] we are "not God." The Three C's of [http://www.adultchildren.org/ Adult Children of Alcoholics] follow from this spiritual principle: '''"We did not cause them, we cannot cure them, we cannot control them."'''		As Ernest Kurtz said so well in [http://www.amazon.com/Not-God-Alcoholics-Ernest-Kurtz/dp/0894860658 his book by the same name,] we are "not God." The Three C's of [http://www.adultchildren.org/ Adult Children of Alcoholics] follow from this spiritual principle: '''"We did not cause them, we cannot cure them, we cannot control them."'''

Mxmsj: /* Dealing with a wayward brother */

2020-11-07T10:05:50Z

Dealing with a wayward brother

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	* Let go and let God.		* Let go and let God.
	* Say the [[Serenity Prayer]].		* Say the [[Serenity Prayer]].
			* Say the [[Peace Prayer of St. Francis]].
			* Say the [[Forgiveness prayer]].
	* Pray to St. Monica, mother of St. Augustine.		* Pray to St. Monica, mother of St. Augustine.
	* Pray in reparation for your own sins, then pray in reparation for the sins of your family.		* Pray in reparation for your own sins, then pray in reparation for the sins of your family.

Mxmsj: /* Dealing with a wayward brother */

2020-11-07T09:54:40Z

Dealing with a wayward brother

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	* Let go and let God.		* Let go and let God.
	* Say the Serenity Prayer.		* Say the [[Serenity Prayer]].
	* Pray to St. Monica, mother of St. Augustine.		* Pray to St. Monica, mother of St. Augustine.
	* Pray in reparation for your own sins, then pray in reparation for the sins of your family.		* Pray in reparation for your own sins, then pray in reparation for the sins of your family.

Mxmsj: /* Some helpful slogans */

2019-05-24T19:47:42Z

Some helpful slogans

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	* Stop getting into the ring with the bear.		* Stop getting into the ring with the bear.
	* Stop going down the street with the pit in it.		* Stop going down the street with the pit in it.
	* Doing the same old thing, hoping for different results, is ~~insane~~.		* Doing the same old thing, hoping for different results, is crazy.

	== Drawing boundaries ==		== Drawing boundaries ==

Mxmsj: /* Drawing boundaries */

2013-08-09T11:50:06Z

Drawing boundaries

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	== Drawing boundaries ==		== Drawing boundaries ==

			=== What belongs to me? ===

	The two crucial questions to answer in any breakdown in relationships are:		The two crucial questions to answer in any breakdown in relationships are:

Mxmsj: /* Some helpful slogans */

2013-08-09T11:49:36Z

Some helpful slogans

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 # I cannot control them.
 * Happiness is an inside job.  It is my job to make myself happy; no one else is responsible for my happiness.
 == References ==

Mxmsj: /* Some helpful slogans */

2013-08-09T11:44:17Z

Some helpful slogans

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	# I cannot cure them.		# I cannot cure them.
	# I cannot control them.		# I cannot control them.
			* Happiness is an inside job. It is my job to make myself happy; no one else is responsible for my happiness.

	== References ==		== References ==

Mxmsj: /* Links */

2013-08-09T11:43:28Z

Links

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	== Links ==		== Links ==
			* [http://www.lakeviewhealth.com/addiction-families.php The Sober Parent's Guide to Healing the Whole Family of Addiction.]

	[[Category:Spirituality]]		[[Category:Spirituality]]

Mxmsj at 11:38, 9 August 2013

2013-08-09T11:38:43Z

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	A gift with strings attached is not a gift; it is bait.		== Recognition of and Recovery from Codependency ==

			The sick behavior of sick people in our lives can cause us to become sick ourselves ''if'' we are too strongly attached to them.

			Just as stopping addictive behavior is essential to recovery from the addiction, detachment is essential to recovery from codependency.

			=== Step One: Admit powerlessness ===

			The First Step in [http://www.coda.org/ Co-Dependents Anonymous] is '''"We admitted we were powerless over others--that our lives had become unmanageable."''' This is the essential spirituality of all of the "-Anon" programs: [http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ Al-Anon], [http://www.nar-anon.org/naranon/ Nar-Anon,] [http://www.gam-anon.org/ Gam-Anon,], and many other companion programs designed for the family and friends of addicts. Another colloquial expression of this fundamental insight from Al-Anon is that "we are powerless over people, places, and things."

			As Ernest Kurtz said so well in [http://www.amazon.com/Not-God-Alcoholics-Ernest-Kurtz/dp/0894860658 his book by the same name,] we are "not God." The Three C's of [http://www.adultchildren.org/ Adult Children of Alcoholics] follow from this spiritual principle: '''"We did not cause them, we cannot cure them, we cannot control them."'''

			=== Step Two: Come to believe in a Higher Power ===

			The Second Step tells us that there is "a power greater than ourselves that can restore ''us'' to sanity." We do not have to allow the insanity of others to drive us insane.

			=== Step Three: Let go and let God ===

			The Third Step, then, means that in our relationships with those who are sick, we must "Let go and let God."

			GOD is the changer of hearts, not us.

			==== Dealing with a wayward brother ====

			; "I feel that I have to somehow do something about it. After all, I am my brother's keeper, right?"

			Let's distinguish between what you can and cannot do.

			You can intercede for him and offer sacrifices for him.

			You cannot command his assent to the faith.

			No one can take a bath for another person.

			No one can accept Jesus as personal Lord and Savior for another person.

			On Judgment Day, God will ask each one of us, ''"What did YOU do with the gifts I gave YOU?"'' He will not ask what we did with the gifts he gave to other people.

			You are responsible for your salvation.

			Your brother is responsible for his salvation.

			You are not his God or savior.

			* Let go and let God.
			* Say the Serenity Prayer.
			* Pray to St. Monica, mother of St. Augustine.
			* Pray in reparation for your own sins, then pray in reparation for the sins of your family.
			* Pray the [[Infallible Prayer]]: "Thy will, not mine, be done."
			* Recognize that "unsolicited advice is criticism." If we could nag people into good behavior, we wouldn't need a Savior.
			* Pray that God will place someone else in his life to convert him. Don't doubt God's power to save him. We are saved by the love of God poured into our hearts through the death and resurrection of Jesus. He died to save this person; He knows how to save him. Pray with St. Faustina, "Jesus, I trust in you."

			== Some helpful slogans ==

			* A gift with strings attached is not a gift; it is bait.
			* Al-Anon ACOA's Three Cs:
			# I did not cause them.
			# I cannot cure them.
			# I cannot control them.

	== References ==		== References ==

Mxmsj: Created page with "A gift with strings attached is not a gift; it is bait. == References == == Links == Category:Spirituality"

2013-08-09T11:21:40Z

Created page with "A gift with strings attached is not a gift; it is bait. == References == <references /> == Links == Category:Spirituality"

New page

A gift with strings attached is not a gift; it is bait.

== References ==
<references />

== Links ==

[[Category:Spirituality]]