Christian anger management
Do not confuse temptation with sin.
In and of itself, anger is just one of many feelings that are morally neutral.
Don't feel guilty about feeling angry
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus warns us that anger can lead us astray.
- á¼Î³á½¼ δὲ λÎγω ὑμῖν ὅτι πᾶς á½ á½€Ïγιζόμενος Ï„á¿· ἀδελφῷ αá½Ï„οῦ ἔνοχος ἔσται τῇ κÏίσει
- But I say to you, whoever is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment.
Jesus did not command us not to feel angry. Feeling angry is a natural reaction to the perception that someone is acting unjustly against us or against those whom we love. The moral question is how we act in response to our feelings of anger.
Sin is in the will, not in feelings. Jesus commands us not to will violence toward others. Paul makes this distinction between feeling and choosing very clear:
"Be angry but sin not" (Eph 4:26).
- á½€Ïγίζεσθε καὶ μὴ á¼Î¼Î±Ïτάνετε
Jesus Himself felt angry (see below), but did not sin in doing so.
Passive aggression is aggression
"You have two ways of dealing with your anger: silence and rage" (some movie--maybe "Midnight Run"?).
We may identify our enemies--and forgive them!
Difference between suppressed anger (cold rage) and sublimated anger (love of our enemies).
We are commanded to forgive our enemies.
This does not mean that we condone what they did to us.
It means that we let go of our natural reaction to their evildoing.
This requires God's power at work in us. Fortunately, when Jesus commands us to forgive our enemies, He gives us the power to do so.
Righteous anger
Those who do not feel angry at evil done to them or to other innocent victims are not healthy human beings.
The proper response to injustice is anger.
The purpose of this anger is to motivate the hard work that it takes to act against injustice.
Unrighteous anger
Rage is a combination of anger and insecurity.
It is out of proportion to the injury (allegedly) suffered.
It breaks relationships.
It is a sin in and of itself. The sin committed against the person who rages does not justify the rage.
Distinguish between assertiveness and aggression
When we assert our rights, we grant the same rights to everyone else.
When we act aggressively, we deny others the rights we claim for ourselves.
Assertiveness is good.
Aggressiveness is bad.
Paul's anger
- Ὄφελον καὶ ἀποκόψονται οἱ ἀναστατοῦντες ὑμᾶς.[1]
- Would that those who are upsetting you might also castrate themselves!
1 Cor. 7:6-9, 25-26
Home remedies
If you can't say anything nice ...
We have the right to remain silent. If we feel that we might lose control, it is better to bite our tongues and pray silently for the gift of peace.
Count to ten
This is one of my favorite proverbs about anger management: "A few moments of patience now will spare me a hundred days of regret."
Walk away
"Let go and let God." We do not have to stay and listen to abuse if our antagonist has become angry with us. We may leave the room or the house or the neighborhood in order to collect our thoughts and calm down.