Chastity

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It seems to me that the Church is suffering from a crisis of chastity.

It is not just the sins, crimes, and stupidity of the ordained (though I do not want to minimize anything about these grotesque evils); the Church is also suffering from:

  • priests and religious behaving unchastely;
  • priests and religious abandoning the vowed life;
  • the unchaste behavior of the unmarried;
  • the conception and murder of unwanted children;
  • the willingness to commit adultery with and without benefit of divorce;
  • the use of artificial methods of contraception in marriage;
  • adoption and promotion of the gay and lesbian agenda;
  • indulgence in pornography and solitary sexual sins.

Although I think the call for a new Inquisition or the restoration of witch hunts is wrong-headed, those who condemn the sins of the ordained are at the very least upholding the principle of chastity: we can and should restrain our sexual impulses for the love of God, for the love of our neighbors, and for love of ourselves. It does not matter how strong the temptations were or how intense the urges were that the priests felt to abuse their victims; disordered desires can never justify sin. It is also laudable to see our critics' zeal to see justice done. Our culture could use a little more shame about our shameful behavior.

No one is going to get away with these crimes. God is a just judge!

The innocent will be rewarded and the guilty made to pay in full.

Lust weakens the nation and the Church

Lust is not a small sin.

It corrupts us from the inside out.

The family is the building block of society; lust dissolves the family ties on which our culture depends.

We need God's help

Prurience is make-believe chastity. We indulge in lust under cover of condemning it.

We need to be won to a vision of God's beauty. This is not will-power Christianity, though it does require our cooperation with grace.

The nature of love

A real "love life" is:

  • chaste
  • committed
  • Christ-centered

All others are counterfeits or otherwise stunted versions of real love.

The God-given desire for sexual union between a man and a woman is necessary for a valid sacrament of marriage. That proper erotic desire is different from lust, which is ordered not to fulfillment of God's will in marriage but to self-centered satisfaction at the expense of the other.

Sins against Chastity

Masturbation

"For me the real evil of masturbation would be that it takes an appetite which, in lawful use, leads the individual out of himself to complete (and correct) his own personality in that of another (and finally in children and even grandchildren) and turns it back; sends the man back into the prison of himself, there to keep a harem of imaginary brides. And this harem, once admitted, works against his ever getting out and really uniting with a real woman. For the harem is always accessible, always subservient, calls for no sacrifices or adjustments, and can be endowed with erotic and psychological attractions which no woman can rival. Among those shadowy brides he is always adored, always the perfect lover; no demand is made on his unselfishness, no mortification ever imposed on his vanity. In the end, they become merely the medium through which he increasingly adores himself…After all, almost the main work of life is to come out of our selves, out of the little dark prison we are all born in. Masturbation is to be avoided as all things are to be avoided which retard this process. The danger is that of coming to love the prison." From a letter to a Mr. Masson. March 6, 1956, in the Wade Collection at Wheaton College in Wheaton, IL. Collected Letters of C. S. Lewis: Vol 3 (Cambridge University Press, 2007), 758-59.[1]

Links

For Wives

For Couples

  • Retrouvaille: A program to help couples heal and renew their marriages.